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Whatchu Talmbout?

don't let the doorknob hit you, where the injection shots made you thicker.

Category Archives: whatcho escu?

Today I would like to talk about the new immigration law so if anyone reads this please feel free to comment. I promise this post wont be ratchet.

I know this new law in Arizona got passed a like a month ago but you know, nigga aint got no cable so nigga dont be up on current events unless he signs on to twitter and the people I follow are talking about. I obviously have the internet but the things that I look up are not usually “current events.” I digress.

Today I was on Twitter and I seen the hash tag #fuckobama. I clicked it to see why folks are mad at him now and apparently its for 2 reasons.

1. Allegedly he isn’t going to be attending the memorial service or something for memorial day…ok well “da werld currs bout dat, buffeh dont.”

2. The whole immigration law being passed… ok well, I actually do care about this so Buffeh’s needs will stand down today.

I heard about the law in passing but I didnt really care or put much thought into it because I live in California… #nuffsaid. If you live in Arizona, hell, if you live in any state other than maybe New York or Florida, I probably don’t care about the goings on of your state. At any rate, I googled new immigration law and they gave me a yahoo news article…wait that just resonated with me, google gave me a link to a yahoo article; google needs more people. Anyway before I even finished reading the article, I knew I wanted to discuss this with you both.

Now, just on a “me personally” tip, I think the law is wrong and I think my entire family should think so being that most of them have migrated from the great land of Belize and the rest of us

Belize!

are like s

econd generation Belizean. However, one thing that I will always remember from college is that there is no connection between what is and what ought to be. So I asked my mom what her thoughts about the law was since, you know, she is an immigrant and everything. I expected that to strike a chord with her, for her to be up in arms about the law, for her to be on the next flight to Arizona to “tell dem weh deh pon fi she mind,” something. I got none of that. Apparently when we get our shit right, we aint worried bout nobody else because they need to get their shit together too. My mom is a citizen of the USA now so basically, she dont gibba fidduck abidout the struggle that they’re going through right now. Whats more, my mom was in complete agreement with the law. THIS CANT BE LIFE, I thought to myself. How could she, an immigrant of a country so close to Mexico, once owned by the British, be OK with this law. She gave the text book answer (my mom isn’t that deep) of they taking jobs and they need to learn how to speak English and because of them employers want us to accommodate them by being bilingual and since we cant, they have an easier time finding jobs and so on. While she does have a valid point, I feel like she should have some compassion. Just because my family and extended family, well the ones without felonies, can come and go to Belize as they please, or are over here already albeit illegally, she should feel for them because she knows what they go through. It’s kind of like one of my biggest gripes about black people. We have been through so much in American History today and we still go through some bullshit, hell in some parts of America, probably the states Buffie and I don’t care bout, were still looked at as second class citizens and yet we are so against the legalization of gay marriage. But that’s another post for another day. This blog wasnt supposed to talk about my mom or gay marriage or anything, so let me get back focused.

I read the article and in the first paragraphed I seen that the Mexicans were outraged and are getting all kinds of uncouth. “The President of Mexico is angry, protesters have smeared swastikas made out of refried beans on the Arizona House and Senate buildings’ glass doors…” I

ORALE!

aint gon even lie, I laughed at that. What better way for a Mexican to show that they are pissed than to make a swastika…out of refried beans. Anyway the article then went on to talk about what the law entails, “The law requires police to ask for immigration papers from anyone whom they have a “reasonable suspicion” might be in the country illegally. Law-enforcement officials are also empowered to detain anyone they hold in such suspicion.” Basically if you look Mexican and a cop has nothing better to do and you’re at the wrong place at the wrong time, be prepared for some shit to pop off that even Mama Tina cant help you with.

It seems that every time we take one step forward, we take 10 steps backwards. First off, America is a land made up of immigrants so unless you’re a native, then everyone should be getting questioned just off GP because there is a likelihood that you’re not a citizen right? White people can come from anywhere, Blacks mostly from Africa, Asians from Asia, Hispanics from Central America, and so on but I can guarantee you that no one will be harassed except for Hispanics; Mexicans in particular since they have the highest population amongst Hispanics in America. Why is it that we are worried about Mexicans and not “Russian Spies” or “Middle Eastern Terrorists” or anyone else.

My mom and a friend of mine have similar view points. yea i see that point of view which is the same that my mom, an immigrant had. Americans now have to jump through language speaking hoops to get a job to accommodate people who aren’t even supposed to be here. That part I do agree with them on because i feel like if they’re gonna be here fine, but why should we conform to their needs when. I used to go to mexico, wasn’t nobody worried about if I could communicate with the locals. When I went to china the people at the school tried their damndest to speak English but outside of campus, they didnt give a fuck which I can respect because I was in their country. How dare I or any of my classmates think we can go to their country and no have the diligence to try to communicate what we need to them. But in America, were forced to have to be bilingual to have a better chance of getting a job when in the long run, English will always be the official language of the USA. I do agree that if they want to get ahead in “our country” then they need to assimilate.

I guess all we can do at this point is wait and see how things turn out in America, the land of the free… and the home of discrimination.

I live in a pretty nice apartment complex that I was lucky to even get in on because of a special. With that said, I expect certain things from my complex. No one to be parked in my stall when I creep in, all appliances to be in excellent working order, when I make a work order for something I expect for it to be processed immediately, so on and so forth. Most things are ok however there is one thing about my apartment complex that I can NOT stand. My neighbors.

Dont get me wrong, all of my neighbors are not trifelin but the ones who live directly above me are nothing short of uncouth. This is my first time living on the first floor (i was on the second floor prior to this arrangement) and I was gassed about living on the first floor because only first floor apartments have hardwood floors. Another reason I was excited about living on the first floor is because i like to exercise at home me jump-roping, kick boxing etc was not what was poppin on the second floor and at my last spot, the neighbors that lived below me would call maintenance quicker than I could say “I was jes plehn.” So I take advantage of living on the first floor because only thing that lives below me is the devil and I dont gibba fidduck abidout disturbing him because #weoffthat but it seems like my neighbors above me dont give a fidduck abidout the sleep that I be tryna get. All into the night they got beer pong jumpin off, obstacle courses, musical chairs, I mean EVERYTHING. This has to come to an end and when I get a full time paying gig, IT WILL. The neighbors are gonna know my name because I’m going up there personally on a “yall need to keep that shit at a dull roar” tip.

Until then, Ill be in the gym in case shit pops off and I have to call Mama Tina, Solange and Daniel nem. Yall know they keeps it real greasy (usually when it comes to Tina’s first born though) I figure hell, I never made fun of Beyonce so I’m practically like family and you know me and Sola… well, its complicated but you know. Anyways Ill keep the two of you who be checkin for me tuned in.

Dear Danyel Smith, Editor in Chief at Vibe Magazine,

Vibe magazine has been one of my favorite magazine for years. The covers are always eye catching and edgy and off all the urban magazines, Vibe has been the classiest. I have not started to notice a decrease in quality until recently when Rihanna was on the cover of the magazine during the whole situation with Chris Brown. This particular issue and the ones following it have had unfunny 20 questions at the end (well except the comment about Amber Rose looking like that robot thing in the issue that Eminem covered), irrelevant cover stories and fashion spreads that are nothing short of dull.

This is the final straw Danyel. The first strike was when I signed up last year for a 2 year subsciption for 11.95 and was provided one years worth of magazines. I said I want gone trip because 11.95 was better than buying it for magazine stand price every month anyway.
Strike 2 was not having a photoshoot of Rihanna for the May 09 issue that had the blue cover and her in black and white. I could have made this on photoshop using a youtube tutorial. Strike 3 is just an accumulation of all the foolishness that I have had to put up with throughout the duration of my relationship with you.

This is an ultimadum. Either put Solange on the cover since you failed to do so whenever she dropped her CD or I will be forced to treat you like an ex scientologist gets treated by practicing scientologist.

I love you and I wont take no for an answer.

-@k_rokadocious

I think it is time that we kind of explain what this blog is. My co-author and I came across this interview of world renown video vixen, Buffie the Body and Charlamagne(wendy williams sidekick) and it was the single most hilarious thing we have ever heard. Nevertheless, we were intrigued by Buffie and all that encompasses her so we created this blog to pay tribute(?) to like foolishness.

If you ever meet us in person, you will notice that we have listened to the interview so many times that we use buffieisms in everyday speech and we dont even realize it half the time. The original interview was 15 minutes long and was hosted on a website that no longer exists but by the grace of God, I was able to find this youtube clip of highlights from the interview.

Please note, that this is very chopped and screwed but it has most of the good parts from it condensed into 2:00 minutes

Enjoy!
-@k_rokadocious

On April 11th I was in Los Angeles and I was at the Beverly center with my sister and while waiting in countless stores while she tried on everything (I didn’t want to go in the first place but It was clear she wanted me to go since she reiterated that they didn’t have groceries in the house when I told her I was staying and that we would go out to eat after) I participated in the average Americans favorite past time, people watching.

I have decided that retail stores do not set you up to move on to a job in the real world. Why have I come to this conclusion is probably something you may wonder and I will explain it for you. You see, while I’m sure all the employees are probably really nice people who may one day be worthy of humanitarian award nominations, (and by humanitarian award I really just mean a 50.00 applebees/sizzler gift card) the clothes that these companies allow their employees to work in is downright absurd at best.

Now, I’m not and I hope I never turn into one of those people who thinks just because my fashion game is decent that it gives me the right to rip apart those who are “dead wrong” when they step out the house but today . . . . (*throws hands up in air) I JES CAINT!

Exhibit a: young black girl with leather(pleather?) stretch pants that zipped in the back at the bottom of the leg and coupled with those sandals that are kinda high-topped and red toe nail polish.

Maybe its just me but leather pants are never appropriate for the workplace in my book. Granted a dress code is clearly not established or enforced at your nearest wet seal so I will not fault this girl for her choices for today, but WTF. On top of that, they were stretch pants and everyone knows, that form fitting anything = no fuckin no btwn 9 and 6 Monday thru Friday. As for toe nail polish, my mother always told me that red toe nail polish was for hoes and ima leave it at that! My friend who works in a restaurant is not even allowed to have anything more than a subtle french tip and open-toed shoes are simply out of the question.

I really don’t have any other exhibits because all the other people who stepped out the house in questionable attire have slipped my mind since I waited so long to post this.

Basically the point that I am making is that when retails stores allow their employees to dress like they just strolled in from the club, it doesn’t set them up for success in the future when/if they are ever given a fair shot at a good job. Unless of course you are Whitney Port from “The City” and can show up to work(?) looking like this:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

-@k_rokadocious

Thursday night, as I cradled my weathered copy of Prozac Nation, I could not help, but glance up & notice the foolywag that was happening on Making the Band 4 (5? 6? 158467?). I was forced to set aside my cup of raspberry flavored tea (sweetened with just a touch of soy milk) & put down my book as the show demanded my full attention. After gasping along with audiences for about 45 minutes of showtime (& 15 minutes of Diddy rambling on about twitter & bitchassness) I could only came to one logical conclusion.
QUE IS STRUNG THE FUCK OUT.
Now, I think that Da Band…Oops, I mean Day 26 had already attempted a discreet intervention in a previous episode, when Que’s mama, the band & their manager Screwface (if you’ve seen the show, you understand why they call him that) all sat down together for an official band meeting. Que began spouting off about feeling like they were all against him & jealous & plotting against him. Robert (bless his soul) managed to quell the situation by insisting that there was a misunderstanding about why Que was missing studio sessions & all seemed fine – at least until the next episode.
This episode, Que caused the band to be late for studio time (& not to get off topic, but for someone who was so concerned about paying bills less than 2 episodes ago, you would think he would be more eager to get in the studio & crank out some more one-hit wonders) & happened to walk into a conversation between his manager & Brian that he assumed was about him, when in reality it was not (actually, it might have been, I am only trusting Screwface’s word because at that point I became sidetracked & went to go wash & exfoliate my face) & of course, this caused him to cook up the idea that they were scheming against him & planting lies against him. Screwface (blest his hourt because I would’ve been sent Diddy & crew to scour the nation for a sober replacement) attempted to calm Que down, which only caused Que to become MORE belligerent & lash out at his manager (who, last I checked, was signing the checks) & decide that he wanted a new manager because Screwface was against him just like everyone else.
Somehow, (I apologize for the lack of details as Prozac Nation managed to take precedence for a few minutes & I seemed to lose the storyline) Que & Brian (& by the by, someone needs to let that po’ boy know that those are NOT baby hairs he got lyin up against his scalp & he needs to just cut that nappy shit off) ended up sort of fighting, there was a lot of swinging, yelling, cursing & kicking & even a few, “Ween Danity Kane!” ‘s & “This is bitchass!”‘s (I hope Diddy got that word trademarked because he sure would be making a killing) thrown around. The two were separated & given time to cool off & the episode of course ended with a cliffhanger, showing clips of Diddy confronting the band (& more specifically, Que) & of course, promised a few more tantrums from Que next week.
Back to my point though, that Que is on drugs (specifically cocaine). I’ve taken it upon myself to gather a bit of research & have found that the following symptoms, all of which Que exhibits :
Paranoia
Irritability
Restlessness
Auditory hallucinations
Mood disturbances
I would think that the auditory hallucinations means that they start hearing things, which judging by how Que loves busting into rooms & accusing folks of conspiring against him, he is experiencing as well.
If that’s not enough evidence for you, please take a look at these glasses he got on & tell me if anyone in their right mind would even think about wearing those grandma’s reading glasses in public –
-elliekeepsitrill

So I like to peruse the likes of youtube when I need a little entertainment or a good laugh. My search terms usually are something like “me singing…” because I kinda like to think that I can maybe discover an up an coming artist and when they become famous they will remember me and break me off with a new Kia or something. At any rate, Ellie my blog partner, posted a very disturbing video to her facebook.

WHY MUST NIGGAS CONTINUE TO BE IGNANT ON THE YOUTUBE?

Initially when she insisted that I watched the whole video I said, “This would make for a good blog!” because I could do a play by play of the highlights. Now that I actually have to watch it again…I JES CAINT!

I would like to say that this was the first time I have ever seen such fuckery but it isnt. Like a year ago I came across this:

My question is why these videos are always set to a Pretty Ricky record(?)

-@k_rokadocious